The Veiled Woman - Dina Zaman

I was invited to a surprise birthday dinner for a friend’s mother recently. The food was good, the company was lovely but I felt something was amiss. It was only when I drove back home that I realised what had been niggling me throughout the dinner.

All the aunties that had come to celebrate the occasion did not wear the hijab, or tudung. They came and left with uncovered heads and one had a dodgy wig on.

To see an uncovered head these days in Malaysia is not unusual, as there are many that go about their business in that fashion. But you cannot deny that there are more covered heads than uncovered, and when you meet older women that don’t wear the scarf, the sight is a bit jarring. I’ll be honest: there are a few of my mother’s acquaintances that should bundle themselves up in a burqa, and when one has had a bad Botox job or Einstein hair dyed in fire engine red, maybe covering up totally is a good idea.

Why we wear it

It was in the 1980s that we saw more and more women taking to the hijab. At that time the number was very, very few, and almost everyone had something nasty to say about the women that had taken to the cloth. It didn’t help that at that time, Al-Arqam was having a field day in the media, what with polygamous marriages and men sporting eyeliner. It was a major scandal.

I was in boarding school then, and the talk at that time, that frightened us 15 year olds, was the materialisation of a new ghoul: the Hantu Kum-Kum. The Hantu Kum-Kum was a tragic figure: she wanted to save her marriage, so she went to see a bomoh who put susuk (a primitive form of face lifting) in her face so that her husband would be devoted to her, instead of that hussy he was going ga-ga over. The catch: for the spell to work, she was not to look at the mirror for 40 days. Alas, like all women, vanity was her undoing, and she looked and her face became ugly instantly. It was so repulsive that she wore a shawl over her face and ran out of her home. She became a lonely spirit, and would do her best to befriend people, but because of her facial disfigurement, she could not say, "Assalamualaikum!" All she could utter was, "Kum-kum! Kum-kum!"

At that time, there was only one classmate that was covered up, I think her name was Azee. However, her dress was of no concern to us as she was funny, smart, and she too was equally scared of the Hantu Kum-kum. As each term passed, more took to wearing the veil. I don’t think my former classmates and I ever mulled over the issue; at that age all we were concerned about was getting through school.

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss. (The Quran, Surah An-Nuur, Verse 31)

Why do modern, educated Malay women take to the scarf?

The reasons vary. For my friends and me, (yes, yours truly), wearing the scarf is a rite of passage. We are not wearing the hijab yet, but the intention to adorn the scarf is there. It’s just a matter of when. Some still want to perm or rebond their hair, some have to deal with husbands that do not want hijab-ed wives. We already have a wardrobe in mind. I suppose one reason why we have not heard the call of the hijab yet is because we do not want to end up like some women that we know, who wear it on and off, wear the scarf with short tee-shirts and confuse everyone, including themselves. Let’s give some dignity to the hijab.

The main reason for many women, is religion and obedience to God. Nur Fatihah Nur Izzati came from a very different background; she is a Mualaf, a revert, and her family was against her religious change. Her reversion was instinctive, for as a young girl, she was attracted by the sight of women in hijab, and would practise wearing it secretly at home.

"Donning the hijab is not only something personal, but it is what is required of us as Muslims," she e-mailed. Hijab is adorned for different reasons, motivation, she continued, but the main reason should be "… lillahitaala…" She went on to state that the hijab is not the drab garment it is made out to be, as scarved Muslim Malaysian women parade in all sorts of colours and styles.

Then there are the laugh-out-loud reasons as to why a woman takes to covering up. Siti Hafidah wrote to tell me that when she was younger, she was a tomboy. She cycled and ran around in shorts, tee-shirts and sported very short hair. She even confused her extremely near-sighted grandmother, who always wondered whose son it was that had come to visit her. Siti’s attire change came about to protect her integrity and identity as a woman: her boyish looks had attracted the unwanted attention of besotted schoolgirls.

"I’m VERY STRAIGHT, let me tell you that! So I put on a scarf to show the girls I was a girl, and didn’t take it off throughout school. And somehow, feminity crept in, I became more lady-like. But I still do my white water rafting and hiking!"

Muslim women bloggers

In blogland, Malaysian Muslim women talk about their decision to wear the hijab with great humour. These women are educated and known in their respective fields, such as Zaharah Othman, who writes for a national newspaper. Another blogger who goes by the name 'Aunty N', wrote about the day she donned a scarf for good.

Then there are young women like Anedra and Blabarella that have intentions to cover up, but are waiting for the day. In the meantime, they content themselves by buying clothes that cover their aurat. If they wore skirts once, it’s now the baju kurung or pants suits for them.

Of course there are detractors of the hijab; namely women that had worn it once and have taken it off. Most confess that they wore it out of peer pressure at school, or to obey their parents. Roslina, who’s in marketing, spoke about her decision to take her tudung off. As a young girl, she was made to wear the scarf by her mother, and was never comfortable with it. She got used to it but it was when she went to university that she and her friends sat down to talk about their hijab. They wanted to find their 'true, inner selves', so one by one took off their tudung. Roslina shaved her head and went goth – black nails, black lipstick, black clothes.

"Looking at today, many tudung-ed girls are not what you think either. Some hide behind the veil to be something else. I’m speaking from experience. They are actually scared of being themselves, so they hide. Just look at the pictures you saw on the internet, doing immoral things and necking in the woods."

"I wasn’t sure what the tudung meant to me. I think I put it on because I was scared of my mother, and I thought I was being the good girl. From this mumbo jumbo that I went through, I realized that there are a lot more people out there who don’t wear the tudung but that doesn’t mean that they are wild and have no religious education. And (there’s) a lot to be said about the tudung-ed ones, what with them wearing tight blouses and sporting visible tummies."

Having said all this, she stated, she did not discount wearing the hijab again, but at a later age.

Googling on 'hijab' led me to this very enlightening article that was filed in The Telegraph, 31 December 2003:

The Muslim veil has become a hot political issue in France – but Stella White cannot see what the fuss is about. A Catholic from Kent, she explains the joys of the complete cover-up.

"Yet for many, including myself, the veil is not an instrument of coercion, but a means of liberation. Personally, I have never felt so free as I do when I am wearing it."

"Before you presume that I am regurgitating propaganda from a culture that has brainwashed me, I should point out that I am a Catholic, not a Muslim. I am not from the mysterious East, but am a 32-year-old woman from boring Kent. Nor am I a prude: my life has included spells as an exotic dancer, kissogram and glamour model. Three of my best friends are strippers. I have had relationships with Muslim men, but none of them ever demanded I wear the hijab; in fact, they found my behaviour slightly embarrassing. There is nobody in my past that has coerced me to wear a veil. I do so simply because I love it."

"I relish the privacy; the barrier that the hijab creates between myself and the harsh, frenetic world, especially in London. I find a great peace behind the veil: I don't feel invaded by nosy passers-by; the traffic, noise and crowds seem less overwhelming. I can retreat into my own safe world even as I walk and, on a practical level, I feel completely secure from unwanted advances."

White went on to reveal her observations on manners and respect that she was blessed with as a veiled woman. While her mother mother, on the other hand, claimed that she, White, wore it because she couldn't be bothered to brush her hair, despite being Catholic, taking off the veil was not an option.

Our men, oh, our confused men

Men, being men, have their own theories when it comes to hijab-ed women. One of my male acquaintances has fantastic fantasies when it comes to tudung-ed women. It is the hidden that is erotic to him. He desires to smell the hair, the perspiration, to meet the hidden jewel behind the veil.

He’s still single.

We girls, when we get together, we gossip about, what else, men and their idiosyncrasies. They can be the worst devils on earth, but ultimately they want the virginal and covered demure Malay girl. We have a male friend that had this torrid affair with a mistress of a Datuk, and is hankering to marry a relative of someone. The relative is the quintessential Anak Dara Melayu Ayu dan Patut Dinikahi - The Archetype Virgin Malay Girl That Malay Men Ought to Marry(everything we girls aren’t lah). The lothario told us that to marry such a personage was a gift from God, and that his position and status would elevate upon marrying the virgin (who by the way is clueless about her admirer).

"Freakin’ delusional, isn’t he?" we sniped.

"Malay men. What do you expect," another snorted with laughter.

On the other hand, we have men that are observant Muslims but do not want hijab-ed wives. "Darat-lah," one of my friends told me. Darat in Terengganu-speak means Hicksville. Somehow, there is still this stigma that covered women, in spite of their beauty and education, can’t speak English and are from some sticks in a rural area. Another reason: a veiled woman becomes a desexualised persona. She becomes such a revered figure that she becomes asexual.

With the advent of veiled personalities such as Wardina, Waheeda, Norjuma, Jasrina Jasni (hereby known as Jazrina, based on a report in Berita Harian, 26 July, 2005), veiled girls are the IT girls of the 21st century.

High profile pairings have only served to awe suitors and admirers of covered young women. "Is she like ...?" is the question. And because these personalities are good looking, the beauty stakes have gone up.

If before, young women had self-esteem issues when they compared themselves to models and actresses, now, there is a phenomenon of the veiled celebrity. On one hand the veiled personality is a good example of modesty and Muslim modernity, and on the other, impressionable young men want look-alikes of personalities and young women think the only ticket to a good life is by donning coloured contact lenses and landing a rich man.

It’s not a bed of roses for my tudung-ed friends. From dealing with public perception that they are not literate to being told that they should take off their veils because they’re so 'not Malay', it is an uphill task, but the number of veiled women is increasing.

The veil is no longer a religious and personal symbol of one’s submission to God but also political. In Europe where hate crimes against the Muslims are rising, the veil is a red flag that begs for racist attacks. It is viewed ambiguously: it is a sign of liberation as well as oppression. Of sophistication as well as dowdiness.

Hijab-ed women in this country come in all sorts of packages. You’ll get the hip youngster shopping at Guess and Coach in a white scarf and fitting shirt and jeans, to the foul-mouthed executive that has everyone shaking their heads and perpetuating the myth of the Ugly Tudung-ed Woman, right up to feminists saying it’s not what you wear, it’s your heart that counts. There are many arguments for and against the hijab. I’ve written about tudung lesbians. Say what you want. They’re here to stay.

My friend, Idlan Zakaria, who occasionally submits articles to this column, emailed me recently:

I am starting to think that the hijab is being trivialised because Islam to a certain extent is being trivialised in Malaysia. We make all Malays Muslims by way of constitution; so that religion isn't something that you work at, that makes up a system of belief and is about faith; instead we are making it a birthright. In the same vein, the lackasadaical attitude towards the tudung is a manifestation of this attitude.

In the same way we have treated religion as a hereditary ornament, as something we wear around our necks but know nothing about; we treat the tudung the same : a statement, something to wear on our heads, but not something we embody in our behaviour or our actions. In the same way that we are Muslim because our parents are / were; we wear the tudung because everyone else is.

I use the term we liberally - this is not a catch all statement; in the same way that we have pious observant Muslims among Malays, we too have earnest Muslimahs wearing the tudung for what its worth.

These are just my observations.

I once wrote about my mother wearing the hijab for The Sun (the column is now defunct) many years ago, and allow me to echo what she said when I asked her why.

"Because God has given me so much. This change is such a small offering to Him, but it’s the least I can do."